due to popular demand, im back!(:
arent you glad people!

hahs yupps haven blogged for ages. last post was on may 13 and that was like half a month ago =S
ermmmsss theres loads i would like to share but gahhhhhss as usual im lazy again.
okayys nvm lets start with today(:

was feelin VERY cranky and moody after trg.
jus didnt feel like talking much. its like one of those swings i had in sec2;
could get irritated and extrememly annoyed at the slighest thing.
was rather anti-social i guesss... jus wasnt my usual self *bites

gahhhhhhhsss you guys are right... i think too much =/
maybe cos' im really afraid of what the future holds
afraid that we carn meet a certain standard in due time
afraid that we will not be able to resolve problems and pull through together as one when they surface
afraid that our unity cannot withstand the test of pressure and time when differences arise

im afraid of many things.
constantly haunted by self doubt and sadly... to some extent, a lack of confidence in my own teammates... and yes im very ashamed of myself for feelin this way.
i know i ought to shut out such negative thoughts but im really worried :(
everybody's trg hard and all but our progress as a whole isnt exactly fantastic.
time is clearly not on our side now and thats v scary.
sometimes i look at myself and the rate im improvin, gahhhhssss i feel like crap already=/
ahhhhhhh. no... i will not lose faith. HANG ON THERE!

and to the junior team (lols dun think you guys will see this): im sorry you guys have to bear with my crap/shitty self this evening :( im sorry for not havin enough trust in you guys and havin those shitty thoughts earlier on this evening. but i still believe in us(: we will press on in face of diversity. i know that deep inside, there's still loads of heart which you guys can give... so c'mon we can do this together. believe in yourself and also the people who put their faith in you. throw away all that unfaithfulness. bring out all that heart and desire in you and be the best you can ever be(: the greatest enemy is always yourself... beat yourself and conquer the waters. we're always behind you... so stay strong(:

no matter what crap goes on in my mind, how negative i can be about things and how much sometimes i can hate the world suddenly,
i jus wanna scream:
I LOVE THIS TEAM<3
i want to improve tgt with you people!

ahhhhhhs! theres so much i want to say to you guys... bahhhsss never mind, i shall save it for tues(:

anywaysss we've been hittin town recently after trgs(: hahahahahas so fun. and lunches/study sessions/TRGS with you guys rock totally! laughed till my abs hurt real bad (during lunches). LOLS:DDDD hahahas movie was like WHEEEEEE! benchwarmers rock my arse. it was hilarous. heeeee i bet we were the loudest in the cinemas. ROARRRS! WE ROCK

erms trgs were rather okayy recently(: thank god
hahahas i love rowing k2 with corrine!
yuppppssss we're gonna trg and pull real hard kayys.
mus aspire to be explosive powerhouses!(:
we're lacking explosiveness and our starts are damn lag.
guess we are kinda slow generally =x
yupps gonna work on it... and also OUR STRENGTH =x
oh ya... im a lousy back rower. was tilting super left and corrine had to balence the boat for me/ tilt right x_X this is bad.
gahhhhss im really sorry . i promise i'll kick that bad habit... ahhhh gimme a bit time kayys.
all the way partner! lets make our boat fly!(:

k1 this week was good too(:
didnt had much a balence problem.
actually i shouldnt even be thinkin bout my balence already. gahhhhss should focus on how i can put in more power and how to catch the water properly (:
yupps i can do this! (: stay strong and focused.
but stilll rahhhhhhss, im takin an awfully long time to master k1 =x
ermmmmss must buck up!

i must not fear.
fear is the mind killer.
fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
i will face my fear and when that is gone past,
i will turn the inner eye to see its path.
when the fear is gone,
there will be nothing.
only I will remain.

may26 2006. never let it get into you anymore.