this's gonna be a quick one... cos' im falling asleep already.
trgs arent going too smoothly for me. my performances 've been rather inconsistent lately.
gahhhhss. its pretty badd. sometimess i can feel so unfamiliar in my boat with awkward body coordination. got really upset for a few trgs this week.
grrrrrr... lousy trg days really bug me ALOT.
theres no time to lose. absolutely no time at all for me to screw one trg and then start all over again the next day.
i need to improve fast and perfect my strokes, kickinggg, mycatch EVERYTHING quickly!
im so gonnna take it away!

took k1 for like 90% of my trg days this week.
rahhhss managed to do mileage and rowed slightly faster on mon and thurs respectively.
those were the only OK trg days i guess, excludin k2 on sat.
the rest were HORRIBLE x_X
blehss i ought to slap myself.

anyways im growing pimples !
like WHAT THE TOOOT* :(
carn help wanting to squeeze all that big lumps of pus/orwhateveryoudeemedtobeinsideapimple
blahhhhssss BUT by doing so, i probably leave ugly scars on my already ugly face -.-
yuppss not exactly the wisest thing to do.
and im gaining weight!
ughhhhss ought to shed the extra pounds of fats.

soccer clinic on sat was fun(:
so many beckhams in the making!(:(: hahas those little boys can sure kick balls.
theres was this uber cool kid who can do slides or scissors/whatever they call it.
watching them doing the drills and enjoying themselves as though today was the best of their lives really makes me wanna be a kid again!(:
hahs and we had our own internal soccer match after the kids left.
LOLS I HAD A GREAT TIME(:

I WENT OUT WITH JO YESTERDAY!!
WOAHHH WHEEEEEE! love her to bits(:
thats like the only highlight of my week (other than the soccer clinic on sat):DDD
hahas oh goshh i missed that girl.
we had a fabulous time(:(:
all that 'ogling' at pretty boys(there at the back of our heads but NOT there), juicy gossips we shared and the great conversations in which we bare our souls.
hahs HAPPINESS totally(:
lalalas and we dinnered out @ breeks and coffeebean!(:
*lowers head in shame. rahhhss my sinful indulgance

lols i have a very flat nose=/

feelin' nostalgic
there's loads of people im missing now.
gahhs im hoping that next week i'll see these people(:
thought we will all grow grey together.
thought nothing will change.
thought the people will stay.
thought you(s)'ll stop to wait.
but they/you never do.

watchingyourback.
livinginmydelusion.
noitsnothappeningagain/

im day- dreaming again.
it seems to be my favourite hobby nowadays =x
rahhhsss i really wanna spend my 17th birthday at night safari .
oh manns, i hope i can find the time.

my headache is killing me.
its so annoyingg . thought i could catch some sleep and forget all bout the pain.
apparently, i guessed wrong.
ughhhss its not going away and im feeeling very grumpyyy now

rahhhs! i bite.
i need a breather.

p.s! hahs here's something cheery to brighten up my day(:
i saw a RAINBOW on thurs! ^_^
cool, uhh(:
its my first rainbow in my 16 years of life.
and the best part is i saw it at macr while i was CANOEING(:

j1 lunch &dinner yest was cool.
aristal on fri night was magical.
shall blog about it after i get the photos(:

we shall draw strength from each other.
have faith.
thanks for believing in me(:
each time i feel i'll snap any moment,
i'll remember you behind me
and the faith we both hold on to.
i'll pull harder with every stroke
for you... for me... for us(:


'cos i know the pain makes me stronger.

mel·an·chol·y
1. Sadness or depression of the spirits; gloom:
2. Pensive reflection or contemplation.

you can feel lonely even when you are surrounded by people.

gahhhs. read this from jialin's blog.
blehhhss qianzhi is making me THINK. rahhhhs! and all the random weird negative thoughts are running thru my head again! lolss qianzhi is always confusing me with all her philosophies (unfortunately, they're always spot-on! :()

the inevitable drifts. will we go far, i wonder?
i have faith.
yet i hope it doesnt fail me along the way.

heys ms blur! believe in your friendships kayys(:

RAWRRRRR! this is so strange.
i was so happpyy a moment ago.
now i feel like... CRAP
trgs are draining me mentally and physically x_X
gahhhhhhss, push on girl!

shall blog bout my week tml. i need my rest
TATA!

ughhhs! pw is such a chore .
its 12.10pm and i spent 2+++ friggin hours reading up and editing that damn PI.
and guess what. my PI exceeded by 200+... Vclose to 300 words.
oh great, i used another 30 mins struggling to delete MY PREVIOUS PAINSTAKING EFFORTS.
this is fun. i love PI. i love PW so much that it pains me to even look at the word: TRANSPORT.

Momentum- Evaluation of Singapore’s transport policies in creating a more accessible, inclusive and user-friendly public transportation for the elderly
oooohhh my MOSTLOVED topic. i feel like strangling myself already.

dear mrfuad:
please kindly accept my PI,
or i really do not know what deadly acts i may do.
yours truly, ms jasmine tan./


GRRRRRRRRRRR. im still left with 32 words to delete.
i forsaked my dearest chemical bonding tutorial for one miserable 500-word report.
goodbye PI. you can jolly well burn in hell and i dont care anymore.
i need my sleep x_X

everyday feels like a rollarcoaster.
so many different emotions stirring inside me each day.
somedays i bounce with joy, somedays i feel totally sour& disgusted with myself.
somedays i carn seem to bring myself to talk to the world.
somedays i tear. somedays i just wanna stone. somedays i rawr!
guess life has always been like that for me...
but this year, i experience feelings that are more intense and complicated.
i feel so lost=/


gahhhhhs. i feel as though im featured in some film , having to deal with zillions of EVIL/GOOD/WEIRD/NICE/PRETTY/UGLY characters.
and theres so many twists and turnss in the story that i never know who's true and who's not. i have to live life with a plastered smile, putting up false fronts and sometimes i'll get so numb that nothin else matters anymore. rahhhhs worse, the film just goes on and on... like peter pan in neverland (whatever its called); till one day i am so mentally drained that i'll drop=/ hahh the ultimate ending probably shows me lying dead on the road under cold hard stares, hahas and behind me sits the MCDONALDS restuarant(:
lols i know it sounds strange havin mac at the crime scene. hahahas but im craving for a milkshake now!
hahahas oh wells, my movie's definitely gonna be an award winning one(:


okayys im weird.
i lead my life as two totally different persons.
gahhhs one moment, i can be so cynical about life; the other, im sprouting rubbish& making my own day!
hahahas but its so fun having EXTREMEemotional variations! :DDD
okayys lahhss its not that great, exactly. but its jus nice to be ME(:
at least for now, i dont even bother to act lovely-dovely (gahhs did i spell it right? lols you get the meaning(:) with half of the acquaintances in my world.
having said that, i bet half of my world hates me lols
ooohhhhhh i suck! whatever.
im too lazy and tired to socialise in school. it uses up loads of energy and i certainly haven much to spare now. hahahas i'll try to be more active though.
used to make a boo-ha outta every trivial matter in the past, but i guess im too old for that now. lols i carn imagine the present jasmine bouncing everyday in school. my bones probably break and my heart may just stopped pumping blood. =p


hahas anyways i should get back to what im here for today(: which is UPDATE!
7TH-9TH APRIL
DANGA BAY! hmmms, gonna blog about it after i get the photos(:
im too lazy to go into details for now.

took apache for this week's trg.
gahhhhs its a scary boat.
felt really lousy on some days,
here are some random thoughts in my head during those stormy days:
i want it. AND I WANT IT REAL BAD. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?
okayys, lousy is clearly an understatement. SCREWED seems to be a better word =S
but its over!. life is understood by lookin into the past, but lived by moving on.
got this somewhere. yuppss learn from gross errors and pick up where you left offstart afresh again(:
shake off the fear and have trust in your partner. stay cool and composed. DONT PANIC
"If you want what you've never had, you must do what you've never done."

but really... sometimes mistakes are simply intolerable. i have to get this right from the start.
the pain of trgs is temporary,
but the scar of losing is permanent.

THURS! was maddness.
felt this indescribable sadness and loss.
please focus on the 25%. we can overcome all odds as one.
please dont lose faith in us.
even if the world is against us, we have one another and together, we will pull through..
/hoping that all will turn out well=/

had a great talk with the girls(sze,dee,vic,shitface) at J8(:
gahhhss i love this team. lets have all the girls out for dinner next time(:


FRIDAY! was a very good good friday(:

SIMNA SAYS

"goodfriday was a happie day for me la :D enjoyed it LOADS. went kboxing at town with YIRONG SERENE &JASMINE. hahah had loads of fun singing &crapping at the same time(: sang FIRST DAY &we were like jumping around &on the sofa. hahahahah :D then we walked around cine &GUESS WHAT? WE MET LOTSA 4insaintx GIRLS(:(:(: so conincidental yeah. at first we met RIMMEL&CHIHUA, then we met PEIPEI , then we met NATHALIE YIFENG &GABY, and we met SHICHUN. hahhahaha &we took photos(: damn happie la! &we were saying having 4i outings soon(: cant wait! :D really miss the class LOADS. then yirong left for her steamboat &me jas ser when to shop for yirongNG's present. hhahaahah(: hope she likes them la :D ohya, the hotdogs outside cine (those push carts one) ARE damn NICE la (: if you add loads of mustard, it's HEAVENLY. =) hahah!"

my sentiments, exactly (:
hahahas BUT onions and prickles GO BETTER with hotdogs(:









<3 them truckloads


SATURDAY!
went jec for dinner with some of the canoeists after trg. hahahas gossip mongers rock my world!=PpPp lalalas digged out so many secretsstuff, 70% of which caught me totally off-handed. lols nearly fall off my chair!
and the best part of the day was meetin up with my loved squadmates!
gahhhhhsss this must be fate! didnt thought we will see each other since i thought everything was cancelled. hahahas neos was FUNNY(:

i miss s304 badly.
i miss talking with you guys.
i miss making a fool outta ourselves in public places!
i miss laughing all day long with you people.
i miss all 35 of you.
goshhhh , i feel like crying already!


SUNDAY!
"mugging" at lib. hahahas spent half of our time at imm with FOOD!(:

rahhhs im so dead. im left with PI, maths sequence tutorial chemical bonding tutorial and econs! woahhs, why do my weekends always pass so quickly?

p.s. hahahas i colourcoded the paragraphs in my FAVOURITE COLOURS- RAINBOW!(: yupps its for easy readin anyways(:

rahhhhhhs!
cherish. 我最想珍惜的人
- yin's msn nick

hahahasss CHERISH ME, ppl!
lols im cool... lovable... miss-able... andCUTE!(:
kayys kiddin=p
and please dont tell me im have none of the qualities listed above....=S
let me live in my own world for once!



blahhhss im bored=/

i dont want to be a wimp anymore.
its really time to put an end to all the stupid excuses and nonsense
no doubt there are physical limits to every individual,
but i must never set boundaries for myself.
mental barriers will only stop me from reaching my goals
and going beyond my physical limit.
fear is a lousy excuse. it simply shows my obvious lack of mental strength.
i have to and will beat myself and conquer this damn freaking fear.
im sick and tired of feeling so inconfident... so not-in-control. i dont want to be scared anymore. i want to show the same confidence i have in k2 in k1.
i want to be a fighter and not some irritating loser who carn row properly and freaks out everytime she tries to make her first stroke, just cos she succumbed to her own fear. damn:(

grrrr im angry at myself.
where did all that courage go to?
my legs go jelly and knees wobbly everytime i stepped into the boat.
i just keep thinking that my boat is rocking even at times when the boat is totally still.
i tap every now and then for assurance and its so stupid
darn, i ought to be shot.
i gonna stop being such an idiot and row properly.
wake up your ideas, girl!
actions speak louder than words. dont give any more bullshit.


i promise i wont let you down.