i dont want to be a wimp anymore.
its really time to put an end to all the stupid excuses and nonsense
no doubt there are physical limits to every individual,
but i must never set boundaries for myself.
mental barriers will only stop me from reaching my goals
and going beyond my physical limit.
fear is a lousy excuse. it simply shows my obvious lack of mental strength.
i have to and will beat myself and conquer this damn freaking fear.
im sick and tired of feeling so inconfident... so not-in-control. i dont want to be scared anymore. i want to show the same confidence i have in k2 in k1.
i want to be a fighter and not some irritating loser who carn row properly and freaks out everytime she tries to make her first stroke, just cos she succumbed to her own fear. damn:(

grrrr im angry at myself.
where did all that courage go to?
my legs go jelly and knees wobbly everytime i stepped into the boat.
i just keep thinking that my boat is rocking even at times when the boat is totally still.
i tap every now and then for assurance and its so stupid
darn, i ought to be shot.
i gonna stop being such an idiot and row properly.
wake up your ideas, girl!
actions speak louder than words. dont give any more bullshit.


i promise i wont let you down.