because we are living in a material world... and i am a material girl

Sunday, April 16, 2006 Y

everyday feels like a rollarcoaster.
so many different emotions stirring inside me each day.
somedays i bounce with joy, somedays i feel totally sour& disgusted with myself.
somedays i carn seem to bring myself to talk to the world.
somedays i tear. somedays i just wanna stone. somedays i rawr!
guess life has always been like that for me...
but this year, i experience feelings that are more intense and complicated.
i feel so lost=/

gahhhhhs. i feel as though im featured in some film , having to deal with zillions of EVIL/GOOD/WEIRD/NICE/PRETTY/UGLY characters.
and theres so many twists and turnss in the story that i never know who's true and who's not. i have to live life with a plastered smile, putting up false fronts and sometimes i'll get so numb that nothin else matters anymore. rahhhhs worse, the film just goes on and on... like peter pan in neverland (whatever its called); till one day i am so mentally drained that i'll drop=/ hahh the ultimate ending probably shows me lying dead on the road under cold hard stares, hahas and behind me sits the MCDONALDS restuarant(:
lols i know it sounds strange havin mac at the crime scene. hahahas but im craving for a milkshake now!
hahahas oh wells, my movie's definitely gonna be an award winning one(:

okayys im weird.
i lead my life as two totally different persons.
gahhhs one moment, i can be so cynical about life; the other, im sprouting rubbish& making my own day!
hahahas but its so fun having EXTREMEemotional variations! :DDD
okayys lahhss its not that great, exactly. but its jus nice to be ME(:
at least for now, i dont even bother to act lovely-dovely (gahhs did i spell it right? lols you get the meaning(:) with half of the acquaintances in my world.
having said that, i bet half of my world hates me lols
ooohhhhhh i suck! whatever.
im too lazy and tired to socialise in school. it uses up loads of energy and i certainly haven much to spare now. hahahas i'll try to be more active though.
used to make a boo-ha outta every trivial matter in the past, but i guess im too old for that now. lols i carn imagine the present jasmine bouncing everyday in school. my bones probably break and my heart may just stopped pumping blood. =p

hahas anyways i should get back to what im here for today(: which is UPDATE!
7TH-9TH APRIL
DANGA BAY! hmmms, gonna blog about it after i get the photos(:
im too lazy to go into details for now.

took apache for this week's trg.
gahhhhs its a scary boat.
felt really lousy on some days,
here are some random thoughts in my head during those stormy days:
i want it. AND I WANT IT REAL BAD. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?
okayys, lousy is clearly an understatement. SCREWED seems to be a better word =S
but its over!. life is understood by lookin into the past, but lived by moving on.
got this somewhere. yuppss learn from gross errors and ~~pick up where you left off~~start afresh again(:
shake off the fear and have trust in your partner. stay cool and composed. DONT PANIC
"If you want what you've never had, you must do what you've never done."

but really... sometimes mistakes are simply intolerable. i have to get this right from the start.
the pain of trgs is temporary,
but the scar of losing is permanent.

THURS! was maddness.
felt this indescribable sadness and loss.
please focus on the 25%. we can overcome all odds as one.
please dont lose faith in us.
even if the world is against us, we have one another and together, we will pull through..
/hoping that all will turn out well=/

had a great talk with the girls(sze,dee,vic,shitface) at J8(:
gahhhss i love this team. lets have all the girls out for dinner next time(:

FRIDAY! was a very good good friday(:

SIMNA SAYS

"goodfriday was a happie day for me la :D enjoyed it LOADS. went kboxing at town with YIRONG SERENE &JASMINE. hahah had loads of fun singing &crapping at the same time(: sang FIRST DAY &we were like jumping around &on the sofa. hahahahah :D then we walked around cine &GUESS WHAT? WE MET LOTSA 4insaintx GIRLS(:(:(: so conincidental yeah. at first we met RIMMEL&CHIHUA, then we met PEIPEI , then we met NATHALIE YIFENG &GABY, and we met SHICHUN. hahhahaha &we took photos(: damn happie la! &we were saying having 4i outings soon(: cant wait! :D really miss the class LOADS. then yirong left for her steamboat &me jas ser when to shop for yirongNG's present. hhahaahah(: hope she likes them la :D ohya, the hotdogs outside cine (those push carts one) ARE damn NICE la (: if you add loads of mustard, it's HEAVENLY. =) hahah!"

my sentiments, exactly (:
hahahas BUT onions and prickles GO BETTER with hotdogs(:

<3 them truckloads

SATURDAY!
went jec for dinner with some of the canoeists after trg. hahahas gossip mongers rock my world!=PpPp lalalas digged out so many ~~secrets~~stuff, 70% of which caught me totally off-handed. lols nearly fall off my chair!
and the best part of the day was meetin up with my loved squadmates!
gahhhhhsss this must be fate! didnt thought we will see each other since i thought everything was cancelled. hahahas neos was FUNNY(:

i miss s304 badly.
i miss talking with you guys.
i miss making a fool outta ourselves in public places!
i miss laughing all day long with you people.
i miss all 35 of you.
goshhhh , i feel like crying already!

SUNDAY!
"mugging" at lib. hahahas spent half of our time at imm with FOOD!(:

rahhhs im so dead. im left with PI, maths sequence tutorial chemical bonding tutorial and econs! woahhs, why do my weekends always pass so quickly?

p.s. hahahas i colourcoded the paragraphs in my FAVOURITE COLOURS- RAINBOW!(: yupps its for easy readin anyways(:

9:34 PM lets leave this to chance